white light

so i'm back. whatever. i feel like death. which is really unfourtionate because i dont have time to get sick. i have my lit midterm due tuesday and my paper for lit due thursday. and cda thursday night. and passover really soon.

and it's like that i mind the stress. i have this theory that you have to hit a certain level of stress every day to stay healthy. on the train back to dc, this kid sat next to me. and by kid i mean she looked to be 16-17. she was going to visit georgetown ( the school, not the place ) for the first time. i guess she figured i was a student or somthing (what tipped her off...it couldnt have been the ginormous norton anthology, notebook & coupous amounts of pens and highlighters in front of me) and found it appropriate to bitch to me about how nervous she is about looking at schools. and like, how she might not, like get, like into like the same school as her like boyfriend who is like soooooooooo cute and suuuuuuuper sweet and like even like bought her like a teddy bear for like valentine's day. and when she asked what i was working on and told her i was doing a rhetorical analysis paper of social commentary lit she was like "oh...what's rhetoric?" i mean REALLY??? stupid people bother me. this kid is in for a rude awakening when she ends up at college.

but in a way, i envy her. she's the 5'5", blonde, skinny, fake skater/punk attired, perfect boyfriend-having high school kid i always wanted to be. whoops. sorry. no. i didnt want to be her. i tried to be her. then i realized...what's the point....i dont play the well-adjusted, happy bit that well. and i dont really want to be her. i guess i used to think it'd be fun to try out her life for a day...just to see what it's like to be the normal teenager.

normalcy is wayy too overrated. i'd rather be a freak, fuck you very much!

...or would i?