sweet emotion

I am still crazy about Alex. By all accounts, I should hate his guts...but for some crazy, inexplicable reason...I don't. At all.

He and I weren't together that long but he and I both fell fast and hard. It went from just chilling to spending every waking moment together in a period of a week. But...it didn't last.

He found someone else and neglected to tell me. I find out via angry phone call, saying he never wants to hear from me again, after I shoot him a text message...just to make sure he's ok or wahateer.

And we hadn't talked since. Till around a month ago when he IMed me. And then all of the feelings I had for him rushed back. He really hurt me...but he was the first guy who I actually trusted. Ever.

And I still want to be with him. I think. I don't know. He made me so much less tense....almost normal. Maybe I like the idea of him better than the actual him? But...I do know I'm still crazy about him.

He's going to be home this summer too...

And as of tonight, according to him, it would be very easy to love me if i wasnt so fucked up. Whoops. Sorry. Can't really help that one. It's who I am. And it sucks.

It really fucking sucks...because he is way too easy to fall for. And I already feel myself
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back into his grasp.