headlock

I've come to realize that people are really cruel. Really fucking cruel. Some shitheads thought it would be appropriate to trash this guy's car that was parked behind our dorm. I mean...ok...it's not that big of a deal. But seriously, who does that? Not only is it rude and disrespectful as hell but its also fucking disgusting to clean off.

But, as far as days go, I think everyone is having a shitty one. Everyone is just really stressed out, I think, and the fact that hell week starts Monday just makes everything worse. Every little thing that is said that someone could somehow take offense to is making people flip out. Admittadly, I'm not "Little Miss Merry Fucking Sunshine and Joy" but today...everyone is starting to act like me and it's a little disconcerning. I mean...I choose not to be nice. It's my defense mechanisim (or one of them at least). I figure, if people don't like me, they won't get close to me and I won't get hurt. See...it makes sence.

The one good thing today though...my Slyvia Plath dress came today. It's floor-length and cream colored with short sleeves. It makes me look like her...which is perfect. I mean, I am nowhere as perfect as she was...but I can fake it. And tomorow is her day in lit class. So ya'll know what I'll be wearing haha.

I kind of just made a big mistake and did somthing I was not supposed to and that I haven't done in a while that could theoretically abridge my plans for Plath-like attire tomorow. One of my friends has the same problem but she flaunts hers. I'm not cool with that. It's totally her perogative to do so but... I figure, it's my problem and it should not be shared with the world. Like...my issues are MY issues. I need to figure out how to deal with them on my own terms. I tried passing them off to others...thinking it'd help ease the hurt....but it doesnt. When I am ready to get over them...I just have to have faith that I'll have the strength to do so.

But, as of right now...they are the one thing that define me.