my machete

Just got off the phone with Michael's parents. Derrick, one of my friends from DC who graduated high school with Michael and I are driving down to Virginia later tonight or really early tomorow morning to visit with them. I can't even imagne what they are going through right now. I mean, losing Chandi was like losing a sister but to lose a child... it's not supposed to happen. Especially in such a tragic way.

And I feel hideous about my problems after somthing like this. I mean, at least I'm still alive.

I made a really big mistake last night. I went to my friend's house and ....yeah. Whoops. Sorry. I have no self-respect and I needed SOMTHING to make me feel better. Except, I'm not on the pill anymore cuz it was making me throw up when I didn't really want to be. So when I came back here this morning I had to run over to the health center and grab plan B. All I'm saying is thank God it's over the counter now and campus health centers are allowed to distribute it, if needed. I'm usually not this stupid but...everyone is allowed to fuck up once. Let's just count this one as my major fuck up, k?

So now I feel disgusting because of the plan B. Like I'm going to barf. Except that's a really bad indicator for me cuz I always feel like I'm going to puke. But now I'm exhausted. Which is really unfortionate. I don't have time to feel like this. Derrick and I are gonna leave as soon as I finish my position papers. And I'm just gonna blow off my first two classes tomorow. I mean, he has to be back here for a thing at 430 and I have class at 5pm. So if we leave Virginia by 1 in the afternoon we should be fine. He drives like a maniac. And if we're not I can just email in my work. But I have the Bitch panel at 715. I'm sure I'll be good for that. I mean, I have all of my resarch & statistics together already on notecards so all I'm gonna need to do is toss on a skirt and a blouse and that takes all of five minutes.

Ugh. 13 days till finals week. Not that I'm counting or anything.