Wednesday, June 13, 2007

the kitchen walls

Mike and I had another marathon chitchat again last night. Like I said, it's so out of charactor for him to call me just to chat so I'm thinking that he's either really lonely or he actually might care. I'm gonna hope it's the latter because otherwise I'm going to feel like such an ass.

I have bellydance tonight!!! I'm really excited. It's such a great feeling to be dancing again. I actually ran into one of my old pointe instructors at the Starbucks by Lincoln Center yesterday. She basically refused to awknoweledge my presence. I guess I was right, they don't like you if you're not part of their world. Not to say I don't miss it. It was such a large part of my life , or rather, it was my life for so long...I think it would be unnatural to not. I still have a pair of pointe shoes that I'll put on from time to time and go down to my basement with the mirror-lined walls, barre and ABC/ABT-quality floor. When I'm down there, I'm almost in a trance. I love it so much but I know I can't go back to taking class. Not after leaving. Plus, going back to ballet would mean going back to full-time goddess worship. I can't do that to myself. Not when I'm just starting to be healthy again.

I have to take a drug test for camp. I really really really hope it comes up clean. I'm pretty sure it should, but I'm still gonna be worried till I get the results.

That would really suck if I tested dirty, after all of this. Yeah.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Good luck with your drug test!
I have this childhood memory of a bunch of counselors coming back to the bunk piss drunk and scaring the crap out of us kids. You're going to have a blast. Enjoy! :)