Fright Fest!!!!!!!

I love my girls...


Caitlin and Me. I loved our costumes... and I LOVE this picture... I think the contrast between good (her) and evil (me) is really hot. Not to metion we both look really really really good.
Me, Random Cop at Denny's, Caitlin. Yeah so we walk in the front door after Fright Fest cuz we were craving some breakfast and he's sitting by the counter. I think it went something like this:

Cop-- "Nice costumes...'
Me-- "Thanks! We just came from a Halloween thing at school."
Cop-- "Whatever you girls want to tell people, that's cool."

All the while, Caitlin is laughing her ass off! Classic.


Me and Jeremy. Albeit I was not exactly dressed in the most conservative manner, I am unable to find reason for this guy, after I grab him for a picture, try to grab my ass in turn. Completely unacceptable. He didn't just do it to me, he also tried to feel Caitlin up. It got to the point where I told some of the guy friends we were hanging out with to get him away from us cuz I was seconds away from stomping on him in my disgustingly high stripper heels.



Me (Harajuku Girl), Lisa (Pirate), Caitlin (Cutest Lil Bo' Peep ever!), Kristen (Lazy Bee), Ashley (Dorothy). It's the classic all-girls shot. I have no idea how Caitlin and I managed to wear those shoes all night though. I mean DAMN, look at those heals! I felt sooo tall wearing them though. Which is an accomplishment and a rarity all-in-one cuz umm yeah at barely 5'4" I don't exactly tower over people haha.

Someone who shall remain nameless started throwing a poopfest when Caitlin and I went out for Denny's after FrightFest. Then that person started texting Caitlin and being a complete jackass, acting like he owns her and all. No bueno. So nnamed jackass, this one is for you.



DJ is my lover. End of story...

crystal geyser water is yummy

I'm really confused right now with my friends. Lisa really likes Tristan and he's not into her. Which is whatever but then last night Lisa goes and "cuddles" all night with Mike.

This is the same Mike who basically used me earlier this year and I let use me earlier in the week and hasn't even looked me in the eye since.

But it's whatever. No regrets anymore. Because in the moment, doing whatever the hell I'm doing is exactly what I want.

Tonight should be fun. Haloween party with Caity and everyone... we're all dressing up and it's gonna be amazing. Love it.

Cheep vodka mixed with dry ice and Sprite is amazing. You don't even taste the vodka anymore.

that is all

two pieces written during free-write in workshop today... not so great but at least it's something

untitled one

his voice still taunts me.
caressing the ever-so-harsh breeze,
dragging the tiniest pebbles over cliffs
and mocking their downward descent,
kissing the clouds goodbye.

the way he would lick his lips.
it still echoes through the stone cold granite,
sharper than the thorns of the blackberry bush in his garden
under which,
we used to kiss.

early autumn evenings marred by epically swaying trees.
he used to meet me there.
forever and ever unable to exist
anywhere near or far from him.

untitled two

his hands,
the cracked skin still marked by careless slips of pen
used to fit perfectly atop mine.
manly. strong. learn'ed. experienced.
jagged incongruous lines topped by unkempt nails
haphazardly shortened by bouts of nervousness.
such courage to just grab me by the waist and let me know it was ok.

he would open the door for me.
not quite silver, not quite gray or white,
but nothing but black inside.
the leather seats worn by long nights of talking
with those who came before me.
crumpled papers lay askew across the backseat,
lurching forward as he stepped on the accelerator,
the entire car thumping to the sound of sound
of south cali techno and east coast grunge.

never without a bottle of water, half drunk,
conviently placed in the cupholder between the seats,
a barrier between his intentions and my wants.
it might as well have been an ocean.

"why am i not good enough? what is so wrong with what is right in front of you?",
the regrets refuse to leave my psyche unanswered.

"thirsty?" he replied,
and shut the door.

hair dye fumes and cotton candy fingers

I just don't care anymore. No regrets from this point on... because in the moment... I was doing EXACTLY what I wanted.

Mother came down this past weekend. It wasn't as bad as I thought. Friday night we just went down to DC for good Ethiopian and ended up meeting Phil & Kim for drinks. It was actually really great seeing P&K... they've both been so busy with HillaryWorld'08 that we haven't had a chance to get together in a while. I think Phil is finally coming to terms with me being a position of influence and power within the political realm. Yeah I'm not quite 20 but I'm senior staff on a competitive congressional race and am known for being nothing short of ruthless. BooYah.

Anyways, Saturday we just shopped. I almost feel bad for my mom because when it comes to clothes and shopping and such, she's so positively clueless and ends up dating herself by either dressing too matronly or way too young. She doesnt have a bad body or anything. I mean, she's not ugly or fat... she just has no idea how to dress. Oh well.

I'm becoming a dark brunette right now. I decided it was time for a change...

eyes

Sigh. Tonight just about made up for all of the not so great nights so far. It was just me, Lisa, Tristan, Mike D, Caitlin, George, Brian, Abu and Stephanie. Just the core people, a few beers, a frisbee and a deserted hallway...

Things that were determined tonight:
- Whenever I speak I spread my stupid (thanks Cait!)
- Josh's love stink trumps the most expensive cologne
- Sea aemonomies are just way too cute and don't have male reproductive organs
-Vonnegut would marry me if he wasn't quite so dead
-What the FUCK is the internet?
-I am now to be referred to as "freak out", Cait is "purple sox", Tris is "Mystery Meat", Mike D is "Fort Condom, Josh is "M16" et al.
-One of our polisci profs looks like Predator

I love my friends.

ouch

David Rebovich died and that sucks. For you all who have no idea about NJ politics, he was a professor down at Rider University in Lawrenceville and a nonpartisan consultant & commentator. And he's the reason I haven't quit yet. Mainly because he wouldn't let me...

After the '04 cycle losses, I thought I was done. We were doing the postmortem and I went outside for a cigarette. I couldn't take it anymore. I was done and yeah. He basically told me if I quit, he'd lose all respect for me. And Dave knew I needed the constant approval.

Then yesterday I get the call that I really didn't want to get. Apparently he had a heart attack while lecturing and died instantly. He was 58.

Shit sucks.

fuck it

tristan is over with. three guesses on who fucked it over. yup. yup. yup. yup. yup. lilith did. and it sucks because i actually liked him too.
.......................


and i also did something i told this one person i wouldnt do. whoops. i did. sorry. if you cared, you would have noticed by now.

si vous avez soigné, vous auriez remarqué par maintenant.

ive fallen and i cant get up.

rire par ses déchirures

Wow. Ok. Where did half of the semester go? I seriously cannot believe it's already midterm week! Arugh. Seriously, it's freaking me out a little bit. Last year it did not seem that it went by as fast as the past month and a half have. I guess it's maybe because last year I was so wrapped up in campaign things with Linda that I was only really half-here and the deadline I was counting down to was not Finals and winter vacation, but rather Election Day. Even now, recognizing that half of the semester is gone, December seems so far away.

And yet, I'm completely content. I think. I'm almost...giddy. I mean, I haven't been able to stop laughing and smiling and just being silly even though there's a lot of crap bothering me right now. Yet with all the crap, I know that I cannot control it so I guess it makes it easier. Yeah...I know I can't control the fact that I might be knocked up. Or that my 16 year old brother DID get his 14 year old girlfriend preggers. Or that Mike is into the girl Rob cheated on me with (FUCKING JERKS!!!). Or that my philosophy professor gave me low marks on a paper because it was "too stylistically mature" for her and she thought I must have plagiarized it. Or that my stepmom is a skanky bitch and is using my dad to pay her bills...

I'm happy that I've met Tristan. It's been a couple of weeks now and yeah, we're STILL not (in facebook terms) "in a relationship" but we're dating. He totally said it himself too, it's not just a Lilith-being-stupid-and-girly thing. He's so freaking sweet too... I almost don't know how to take it. Today, even though he doesn't have class till 2, he showed up at 12:30 and just chilled with me till we had to go sit through the most boring lecture...ever. Then after classes we just walked around and explored and watched scary freaking movies. This weekend I don't know what's gonna happen though. It's fall break so we're off this coming Monday and Tuesday and he said he wants to do something this weekend so I'm not sure. I mean, I know I'm probably going to end up staying over at his house one of the days which will be cool. His parents are great and they're cool to hang out with within their own right. This whole dating this is completely foreign to me though. I guess I'm just not used to the whole someone actually doing nice things for me thing. Which is kind of sad.

Oh well. I'm determined not to fuck this one up.

Merlot

...aside from making me disgustingly happy feels really good going down. Let's just think about that for a second. It's so smooth and I can feel it warming my whole body (which is a great thing when your dorm room makes the Arctic feel like Tahiti).

I love the piece I'm working on for my writing workshop. I haven't really written anything that I can stand in a while and I miss that feeling...just knowing that I'm creating something worthwhile.

Tonight I'm just hanging out around the dorm. I'm actually ok with that for once. I needed to do laundry anyways and some nights, just sitting around watching Food Network television while writing papers is just what I need to relax.

That and my wine, that is.

la la la de dah

So yeah. I gave blood today. Coming from someone who has multiple tattoos and piercings this is going to sound really weird, but I cannot stand needles. Just something about the whole process of giving blood is extremely perverse too. I mean, we were sitting around on our uncomfortable, nylon chairs with our right arms out with needles and bags attached to them. We could all see each other's blood flowing from the veins and slowly filling the bags with dark red almost purple blood. Parts of each other that just seconds prior were safely inside the veins....now...not.

Tristan and I are still hanging out. He wasn't feeling well earlier but after his late class let out he came over for coffee and a movie. Very cute. And he wants to take me to this street fair thing on Saturday. Even though we're not 'together' yet... I think that might be coming soon.

Haha. He makes me go all fluttery.

hands held high

Let us see...where did I leave off? Oh yes, Tristan. God, has it really been that long? No mind... I guess that just means I have a bit of catching up to do.

Tristan took me out Saturday and Sunday. It was really cute, we did the whole sushi and a movie first date thing then went to Antitem and Shepardstown. He's really sweet and I think that's what's driving me crazy about him. I'm just not used to guys being nice to me. I don't know how to deal with it. He texts me sweet things at all hours of the day, telling me I'm beautiful and whatnot and I'm kind of at the point where I'm ready to tell him to chill out. We're not even going out yet. We just hung out for a couple of days. Nothing serious...I didn't even fuck him.

I'm actually slightly proud of myself for the last one. I stayed over with him Saturday night and I told him flat out that I have a bad history of jumping into bed with guys just after meeting him and that I respect him too much to do that. So we just talked and watched movies. Yes...actually watched movies. Proud, no?

Enough with Tristan now though...

I'm dropping Latin. It's seriously kicking my ass to the point where I'd have to fight for a C+ in the class. It's not worth fucking over my GPA for a class I just took for shits & giggles. Apparantly half the class is dropping though too. So no worries.

This whoring bitch from two of my polisci classes started a rumor that I'm sleeping with this grad student. I'm not. He's ugly and skankalicious and really stupid. I'm no longer even making out with the uglies and the dummies. I figure, if I'm gonna keep doing what I want, I might as well have them be classy. I'm about ready to throw the slutty monster down the stairs though. Actually, I probably would if she wasn't so fat to the point where she could crush me if she got pissed at me haha.

Mommy sent me brownies!!!! Yay chocolate!!!

Apparently this girl from my summer workshop is getting a piece in the New Yorker. For once though, I'm not jealous. She worked her ass off and totally deserves it. My day will come...

As soon as I write something worthwhile.