don't let me down

I was somewhat content till my ex, Andrew IM-ed me. We were friends for a while and while never officially stating that we were each other's boyfriend or girlfriend...we were seeing each other. Actually, we weren't pseudo-dating that long...maybe two months. But that's irrelevant. Especially when you fall for someone who doesn't care that much in that way about you.

Long story short, it's been more than a year since we stopped hanging out. And I'm still crazy about him. Mind you, this is the boy who said that I'm impossible to love. He's still having problems letting go of his most-recent ex (the girl he broke up with me for) and keeps coming to me for advice. I'm having a really hard time giving it to him though. Not only do I still think about him way more than I should...but I don't want to say anything that might make him transfer his anger over the situation over towards me. It's really hard though.

And I keep dropping these hints...some subtle and others not so much...trying to tell him that I still want to be with him. But I don't think it's working. Either that or he's refusing to awknoweledge them. I sincerely hope it's the latter...how can you misread this:

(talking about the ex)
Andrew (11:17:25 PM): it just goes to show that i've been right all along
Andrew (11:17:32 PM): the girl loves being loved by me
Andrew (11:17:39 PM): but doesnt really love me back
Lilith (11:17:51 PM): then...i think you know what needs to happen
Andrew (11:18:01 PM): ill call the hit man....
Andrew (11:18:06 PM): lol
Lilith (11:18:09 PM): aside from commiting a felony
Andrew (11:18:15 PM): no
Andrew (11:18:19 PM): what needs to happen?
Lilith (11:18:45 PM): i'm not gonna say it because im not in a position to tell you what you should do about your girl issue
Andrew (11:18:57 PM): just say it
Andrew (11:19:01 PM): i need to hear it
Lilith (11:19:12 PM): you need to tell her what you just told me
Lilith (11:19:36 PM): and you should not be fighting for someone who isnt worth the fight
Lilith (11:20:23 PM): if she doesnt love you. i mean love you, love you. the REAL love. the one that takes your breath away but makes you feel like your drowning when you dont have it...then she's not worth it.

Except that's how I felt when I was with him (and I still feel when we talk). Like I was putting all of myself and more into loving him and recieving nothing in return. But I know there HAS to still be somthing there between me and Andrew. Especially when things like:

Andrew (10:57:10 PM): i want
Andrew (10:57:14 PM): that moment
Andrew (10:57:18 PM): when we met
Andrew (10:57:33 PM): when i didn't know who u were and u didnt know me
Andrew (10:57:46 PM): we were just strangers in mutual liking

and

Andrew (11:07:03 PM): sometimes i wish i could feel for u more than i do
Lilith (11:07:26 PM): you mean raquel right?
Andrew (11:07:39 PM): i can only feel for raquel now and i dont want to... i dont want her to know.... and i think she does
Andrew (11:07:53 PM): no i mean u
Andrew (11:08:07 PM): i mean i wish things would change

keep spewing out of his mouth. It hurts so much talking to him because, part of me wants to let go but he makes it almost impossible. And it really sucks because I know he and I could never be together again. There was too much drama, especially on the way out. Once we said what we did to each other, once anyone says things like we did to anyone else, there is no way we (they?) could even attempt to have a positive relationship with one another. It just doesn't work that way.

I just want him to stop...or to find somthing to make me stop caring. Either way, I'd be good.