One year ago today, I tried to kill myself. And now, I am ALIVE. Breathing, bleeding, performing all of the normal bodily functions. Still confused and slipping as ever, but I think I finally am going to be ok.
Tomorrow I'm doing an interview for a major news network and I'm scared shitless. I haven't done an interview like this in such a long time and I need this to go well. I need to get back into the mentality of a fighter, a writer, the next best damn communications rep on the East Coast.
I'm too distracted, though. It's Hanakuah. I miss my family. I miss my cousins. I feel like the ugly duckling, never included or whatever. As pathetic as it is to say, I miss my mommy. I haven't seen her in a week or two and I miss her hugs and staunch analysis of my life, no matter how much it may hurt. I miss my grandma. She's dead. There's not much I can do about that one. I want to go visit her grave though, maybe when the ice melts. I haven't been back there since freshman year of college, Thanksgiving I think it was. I miss my friends. I have no friends up in Jersey.. or only like three. And with the new consulting gig, plus toy Hell, I haven't been able to head down to DC or even into the city to see anyone. I'm going a little stir crazy. Fuck that, I'm crazy.
21 soon. 21 and free. GONE. I can't wait...
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