don't look back in anger.........

As I sit here, with roughly three hours till my 21st birthday, I'm suddenly very pensive. Moreso than I have been in quite some while. It is a new year... 2009 is upon us and I do not feel as if anything has changed. My jelly beans still taste the same, as does what is probably going to be the last beer I imbibe underage (Heineken, if you must know). But I am starting, slowly, to realize that I am going to be okay.

It is with that spirit, that I have resolved (as per the New Year's tradition) to attempt the following over the course of the following 365 days:

-I need to start taking care of myself. That means seeing doctors, getting enough rest and start making better choices in all aspects of my life.

-Get my degree. I need to graduate... it does not even matter where from. Just that I do it so I can move on with this phase of my life. There is so much I want to do: work with State Committee or for the Party, sign on with a serious consulting firm, elect Democrats everywhere... none of which I cannot do without a degree.

-Work on being less judgemental. Seriously... I severly limit myself in regards to the people I assocate with based on my preconcieved ideas of their lives. Let's say, hypothetically, I'm at a bar and am approached by a guy. If he's ugly, I won't even talk to him, regardless of his personality. I'm exactly that vain. If he's drinking a girlie drink, I'll immediatly think he's gay. Just stupid things like that... I should stop.

-Stop keeping secrets from my friends and family. Not everything needs to be out in the open, but I feel as if I've ruined a bunch of relationships because I don't let people in. They deserve to know more, after dealing with the aftermath.

-Write more. I'm a FUCKING BRILLANT WRITER. But no one is going to see that if I don't expand. The crazy, confessional, Plathesque poetry has its place, but I can do more. I need to move beyond that. Find my own style witin the genre and roll with it.
And maybe publish something. I'm good enough.

That's basically it. I'm excited.

Here's to a nonsucky year.
Lilith.