I'm kind of dying. The mind games, they're getting to me. I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm too damn strong to let some washed-up pseudo publisher with a big dick and an amazing smile to get inside my mind. I'm doing no one but myself harm by dwelling on him. I can't have him and that is (or should be) that.
I don't like not getting what I want. I'm actually rather poor at it. I'd work on it, but who has the time?
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The semester is almost out. Hoodrats want me to come for a visit. I know I should... I just don't know if I want to. It shouldn't feel like an obligation to go see friends. I want to see Luke. I miss Luke. I miss Bean. And Mike. And Christine. And that's about it. I like other people there. I have friends there... I just don't really miss any of them.
Mike wouldn't be fun now, though. He has a legit girlfriend and loses all control around me. He'd refuse to see me, or he'd see me... we'd party... and there would be drama.
I'm kind of on a drama-free diet right now.
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I don't feel well. I want to purge but I have nothing but tea in me. And I know I'd feel worse after. Shit.
At least I'm being somewhat rational.
I'll purge when I can swallow. Yes. Perfect.
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