where does the good go

in my room i have these fantastic purple christmas lights. i have them around the room in trim-like fashion and i have to say...they are the best $2 investment i have ever made.

anyways..i wanted to see if you can capture the movement of light on a camera. apparantly...you can and i think it looks pretty freaking sweet.

you even kind of can see the corner and celing of my room from the shadowing of the shot and the i guess...bending of the stream of light from one part to the other.

my housing situation for next year is already turning into the proverbial shitshow i knw it would. they changed the policy for underclassmen singles and now you need more than a drs note...you have to go in front of a panel and explain why you need one. and after you bear your soul and most likley have them rethink why the hell they ever admitted you to school, you're still not guaranteed a single. i dont have the time or energy to deal with that crap. and i'm also really not fond of everyone knowing why i am so fucked up.

yeah...ive got the damaged goods spiel down to a science.

so kins and i are gonna room. but the 4th floor doubles we wanted are all filled. which means we're gonna try for a 2nd floor corner in memorial now or go for a 4th floor in smith. whatever. i really dont care. i mean if i have to have a roomate, i'd much rather live with someone who at least partially understands and can sympathse with where i am coming from and she's really chill and we've never really had any issuesl and i know i can live with her without wanting to kill her. which is always a good thing.

i'm really upset over my exam grades so far. not so much my terrorism one but i got a c in internaitonal relations and a f in religion. becuase i'm a dumbass. i need to make sure i do better so i can keep my scholarhsip money. i mean...even if i lost my scholarhsips i'd be able to pay for school and all but hell, if they want to give me money...why the fuck not take it.

is it bad that i cant define happy anymore? i've misplaced my "happy". i dont know what it is supposed to feel like so idk... its making the relationship thing really hard. at least my guy is undertanding of the fact that i am always going to be...sad.

cept always and forever are the biggest lies in the world. right below love.