on the ground

I'm back from the Hamptons. It was great. I love being by the water...I'm such a beach bum (in every sence of the word).

I don't know how much longer I can take being at home anymore though. My parents found out about Adam and...let's just say they're less than pleased that I'm seeing him. And it's not like he's that bad of a person. He's my dad's best-friend's son and we've known each other since we were born. So he's had a few issues over the past six months or so with drugs, but hey I'm not one to judge. Especially on that. And yes, he is a little bit younger than me...but once again, who cares? We work so well together, it doesn't matter to me. I love Adam to the point where I don't care what anyone says about us.

I love Adam and he loves me. If there's one thing that I still have faith in, it's the power of love. Maybe I'm naive. Maybe I'm just being a silly little girl and haven't lived enough to know what love is. Maybe I'm too willing to say "I love you" to anyone who gives me any positive attention. But I don't care. There is just somthing about Adam that makes me feel like one day I am going to be ok. He gives me somthing to live for, somthing that makes me so unbelievably serene and happy that I never want it to go away. Which it wont, because Adam swore to me that he'd never leave. It's just going to be me and him...forever. And that's exactly how I want it to be.

Adam is the most addicting drug in the world. He's ok with me being extremly insecure. He loves the real me...the Lilith that only comes out usually when I'm alone. I love him so much it hurts. Adam is the first person ever that makes me feel like I belong somewhere. He has my heart, my whole heart, forever. And I will always love him. I want to be with him forever. I feel at peace with him. If that's not a sign that we should be together, than I don't know what is.

And so what about going back to school. We are going to make this work because when you love someone like this, you do whatever is nessasary and more, just to make sure we're together forever.