So right now I'm sitting in Central Park, just over by the Imagine circle and Strawberry Fields, with Zen...just enjoying the day. I just finished a piece that I'm workshopping this afternoon and I know I really should be studying for tomorrow's chem lab but I'm not really in the mood. I mean, I understand what I'm supposed to do for the lab and it's not like I am not going to look it over before class. I wouldn't sabotage myself like that, especially when every A brings me one step closer to graduating and grad school.
Andrew (the guy who told me I'm impossible to love then decided he couldn't get me out of his mind) wants to start seeing me again. I want to see him, but I don't think it's a good idea. I try to have a policy of never getting back together with my exes, but Andrew is making it really hard for me. I still care about him immencely but it's just really difficult even talking to him because every time I even think about him, I hear him telling me that I'm impossible to love. How can anyone be in a successful, healthy, meaningful relationship after somthing like that? I don't think that it can happen. But...thinking back to when we were together...we worked so well. Andrew and I think the same way and I care about him so much that it makes me want to try to make somthing work. But I also know, he hurt me once and I don't want to feel like that again. So I don't know what I'm going to do.
I wish this whole relationship thing wasn't so complicated. No...I don't. I don't do things that are too easy. There's no fun in that.
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"Impossible to love"....HA!...I've been accused of that myself....all love hurts...just depends on how deeply it cuts as to whether or not it's worth it
and really, aren't we all pretty friggin' hard to love?
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