stolen

I think I want to become a professional bellydancer! No...I'm not that crazy, but for a while after last night, I was seriously considering it. I can't remember the last time I had so much fun. Seriously...there is nothing I don't love about dance. I mean, we get costumes, get to play with swords, wings and zills (finger cymbols). And its so good for core strength, which is awesome. Yeah, I've only been doing it for a few weeks but even still I'm starting to see my endurance go up with running and such. But yeah so I met some really cool people from other studios. More than anything though, it was interesting to see the diversity amoungst the dancers. Like Orlit, she's Iraqi and came over before Bush decided to throw our troops under the bus. I started talking to Andrea, who runs Empire Dance in the city. I mean, we sort of knew eachother before from bunheadland but we never really talked. She bailed right after me and is now teaching bellydance six times a week at Empire, all drop-in classes. I might have to show up to one of her classes. I love my instructor and the girls I dance with but I think it'd be interesting to at least experiance another instructor to see how they differ styilistically.

My brother's therapist wants me to come in. Family session or whatever, I guess. I'm not going though. Not to spite him or my parents or anything, but they pretty much ruined any possibility of me ever speaking to a therapist by forcing me into it. And I'm completly against my brother going to a therapist to begin with. I don't think he needs it. Fuck him having a drug "problem". His only problem is that he is a self-indulgent little brat who has been coddeled his entire life and has never seen any consequences or given limits. And now he's just seeing how far he can run with that. Not to mention both my parents blaming his issues on my "destructive, concieted presence". Screw them all. My parents think I'm the bad one for leaving but they gave me no choice. They're mad because they couldn't break me then, nor can they now. I will not bow down to them. I don't care what they think or say. I have nothing to prove to them. I don't care if they think I'm going to Hell for being assertive. Shit, if there is one (which I'm not too sure there is), I'd rather be reigning in Hell than serving in Heaven.

One of my friends, Shawn, really pissed me off earlier today. Just randomly he says that I look innocent. Seriously. Who says that? I am anything but. I am not fragile or undamaged. And Shawn knows half the shit I've been through cuz he's been right there with me. Screw innocence, I'll take fearless and strong, fuck you very much.