fuck this

So I just got back from a meeting at the Y and I got fired.

I guess it started last week when I came in all brused up because of my brother finding it acceptable to use my head/face as a punching bag. I got questioned then by my unit director, the assistant camp director and the camp director. But in true Lilith fashion, I play it off like it was nothing. I mean, I don't want them thinking that I'm a big ball of drama or anything (ok, so I am, but they don't need to know that).

But then yesterday, it was really hot out so I wore a teeshirt (which I usually never ever ever do) and some of the directors I guess noticed my scars on my forearms and the tops of my palms. Which, admittingly, look kind of suspicious. But noone mentioned anything to me so I just thought they either didn't see --it's not like I was showing them off or anything...I mean, I'm not proud of them (actually quite the opposite)-- so I just leave after training.

And then I got a phone call around noon from my unit director asking me to come in immediatly. At this point, I'm kind of questioning what's up but I go in anyways. I guess I thought she just wanted to go over lesson plans or somthing. Ha. I wish. I walk into her office and she's there along with the asst director and camp director. They ask to see my arms, which we're clearly visable cuz once again because of the heat I wore a tee shirt. And then the questions began. Just the usual: how often, when, why...that sort of crap. While being extremly selective with my wording, I tell them that I used to have a problem when I was younger and that I haven't had issue in a while (ok, so I have, but once again...none of their buisness). And then...to top it off, after making me spill my guts, I get fired for possibly being a negative influence on the campers. Such bullshit. It's not like I'm going to encourage them to go out, buy a knife and start carving away at their arms.

Whatever. This sucks. Majourly. I was pretty excited for camp too. Yeah, I'm not usually a fan of the kids but I wanted to see what it was all about. And I really wanted to work chic empowerment camp. Not to mention that over the past few weeks I've gotten way too friendly with my credit card company's collection agency and the paycheck was supposed to help remedy said situation.

I guess I can just keep working at Lotus, maybe **hopefully** take on some more hours. And focus more on the pieces I'm working on for my writing workshops. And get ready for the dance showcase in July.

Plus, I probably would have been the worst counselor anyways.