So I'm home for Rosh Hashana right now. Suprisingly enough, I haven't tried to or thought about cutting yet. And it's been more than 24 hours! I think, no lie, this is a new record.
Except I feel really fat and bloated and I have to see my extended family tomorow evening...which always just adds a whole new big ball of stressors into the mix. I think I'm starting to come to terms with the fact that I am most likley never going to have the goddesses back. I am not ok with that, but frankly, it is what it is. Except, with that, I know I am going to have to deal with eternal repulsion of my body. Even now, looking in the mirror on my wall, the only thing I like is my eyes. I used to like my collorbones and neck, but now that I can't see the veins and the musculature isnt as perfect as it used to be...nothing but my eyes.
I am just a big ball of disgustingness. I honistly wouldnt be suprised right now if Rob is sleeping with someone else....because I am just that gross.
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1 comment:
What a wonderful assesment of yourself. Now stop this and pull yourself up.You are a uniquie priceless person created in God 's image, even if you don 't believe in Him.
Don 't berate yourself
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