ecstacy and jelly beans

I want this day to be over.
I say "I" a lot.
Very narcissistic of me now, no?
But I don't really care.
That much.
I'm really not as messed up as everyone thinks I am.
I am capable of taking care of other living things.
Like kitties.
My name does not mean "The Devil" in Hebrew, Jakob.
Asshat.
I don't believe in the conventional labels that society uses to define sexual orientation.
Maybe I should have gone to work today.
Oh well.
Singular causes suicidal thoughts.
I think that's hilarious.
Bean knows.
She does not approve.
I do not care.
I might as well just go for it.
Or whatever.
If it's gonna happen, it will.
If not, bummer.
But I really want it to happen.
They rock.
Screw it.
I'm gonna stop playing the pronoun game.
She rocks.
She makes me happy.
I've got it bad for a girl.
Is that better?
I don't care if you have a problem with it.
I am who I am.
Deal.
I don't deserve you making me want to die on a nightly basis.
And you're not gonna fix me.
Because I am not broken.
Or maybe I am.
But I'm ok with who I am, thanks.
Perfection is still alluring though.
QMNMD anyone?
Starbucks today was awesome though.
I needed that.
The hangover this morning wasn't that bad.
99 Blackberries makes me pretty happy.
And that is not healthy.
Oh well.
I'm really vain.
Not even.
I'm BEYOND vain.
And really want to light my new beeswax candles.
But then the dorm would burn down.
Which would be sucky.
M has my Sylvia Plath dress still.
I really should get that back before it gets really warm.
I look kinda really awesome in it.
Very romantic.
They really should stop doing landscaping work at 7am.
It doesn't bother me.
But I know most people aren't up then.
And that has to suck waking up to a lawnmower.
My eyeballs hurt.
It's not my contacts.
But just my eyes.
Maybe I'm tired?
That is always an option.
This time next year I'll be in South Africa.
I'm excited.
Hardcore.
My brother makes me angry.
I am amazed by his stupidity.
There really is no other word for it.
Ugg.
I can't stand how every three seconds.
She's on my mind.
It's freaking me out.
I'm not good with this liking someone thing.
Note to self: stop being shy.