concerete angel

I feel pretty defeated right now. I just insinuated via text message for the first time that I may actually have feelings for the person I'm interested in and how frustrated that I don't know what we're doing (if we're just two friends who are hanging out or if there may be something more there) and said person didn't quite get it, I don't think. ARUGH. All of their close friends know that we've been hanging out and it's just so frustrating that I don't know where we stand. I have a big problem with not knowing. And it honestly took a lot for me to actually come out and say that I'm into them and to feel this shot down is really kinda messing with my head. This whole liking someone dance we all do is just sucky. I think it creates so much unnecessary tension it alone has the potential to seriously mess things up. Sometimes I honestly wish I wasn't interested in anyone at all ever. Yeah, it would be horrible being alone forever but at least it would be easier than having to worry about saying and doing the right things, not looking like a wreck and all that stuff with comes with liking someone.

In other news, I'm pretty sure I'm failing out of school. Go me. I completely failed my American Novel midterm. 55%. Go me. I'm just a big ball of talent this semester. At least, if anything, I'm moving off campus next semester into a really sweet apartment downtown and one of my good friends is going to rent in the same building. So maybe I'll be able to focus better on classes before South Africa in the Spring.

Spring is on its way and my allergies are not excited. Even sitting through class this evening, I was sniffily. And when I run in the morning, I've been getting short of breath from the pollen and whatnot. NO BUENO. Especially when the medicine I take for it, Singular, is now being investigated by the FDA for causing people to commit suicide. Death by medicine. Sweet. If you're gonna go out, that doesn't seem like that bad of a way to go. I'm guessing that your family would make bank from a lawsuit after the fact.

Oh drug companies.... how I HATE you. A lot.